When you can't find the right word

Has this ever happened to you? You’re having a conversation in English and suddenly you realise that you don’t know a word that you need. Or perhaps you do know it really but you just can’t remember it at that moment. You freeze and don’t know what to do or say next. Then either there’s a long, awkward silence or you just change the subject because you can’t finish saying what you want to say.

​So how can you fix this problem?

Don't panic!
First of all, you need to know that this is completely normal and it happens to everyone. So don't worry!

When you’re a learner, speaking English is hard! You have to do so many things at the same time! You have to remember the question, decide what you want to say, find the right words, think about the grammar and try to pronounce everything clearly. And you have to do all these things at the same time! It’s a lot!

So be kind to yourself. Many learners get angry with themselves or feel frustrated when they get stuck. But remember, if you can have any kind of conversation in English, even if it’s not perfect, you’re doing really well!

Sometimes my students get stuck on a word in the middle of a lesson. I really want to help them but they say “Um” and “Er” and they don’t give me any clues! I feel like they are trying to make me read their mind! But when they give me a hint of what they’re thinking or try to say it another way, I can usually help them find the word they want.

And here’s some good news. When you learn words like this in a lesson or in a real-life situation, there’s a good chance that you’ll always remember that word afterwards!

The second thing to remember is that native speakers have the same problem. Do you sometimes get stuck for a word when you’re speaking your first language? I bet you do! I know I do, especially when I’m tired! It’s good to remember that native speakers have the same problem because then you don’t feel so bad when it happens to you in English.

So what do native speakers do when this happens? We usually communicate another way, like using body language, or we find another way to say the same thing. Think about what you do when you get stuck in your first language and try to do the same when you’re speaking English.

In the next section, I’ll give you some ideas on dealing with this problem. 

Useful phrases and strategies
When you can’t find the word you want, don’t just stop speaking. Use these words, phrases or strategies instead.

Ask for help
You could say: “What do you call this in English?” and point to something.

Leave a sentence unfinished and people will help you fill in the missing word. For example: “I want to buy some painkillers. I need to go to the …” “Pharmacy?” “Yes! The pharmacy! Thank you!”

You can sometimes mime the word and people will tell you the word. For example, if you can’t remember the word “thirsty”, pretend you’re drinking from a cup, say “I’m really …” and people will probably tell you the missing word.

Use relative clauses
Learn how to use “who”, “which” and “where” so you can say things like:
It’s a thing which …
It’s something which …
It’s a person who…
It’s somebody who…
It’s a place where/which…

For example, if you don’t know the word “optician”, you can say “It’s a person who tests your eyes.” 

When you can’t remember the name
We have lots of words for objects. For example, you can say:
thing
thingy
whatsit
what-do-you-call-it (Pronounced wha-dya-call-it)
thingamajig
thingamabob
oojamaflip (UK)
doodah (UK)
doodad (USA)
doohickey (USA)

For example:
Can I borrow your thingamajig? You know, that thingy for cleaning the floor.
Pass me that whatsit over there, will you?
What’s this doohickey for?

And if it’s uncountable, say “stuff”. For example, say “I need to buy some of that stuff to wash my hair” when you can’t remember “shampoo”.

If you can’t remember a person’s name, you can say “whats-his-name” or “whats-her-name”. For example, “Did you see what-his-name at the weekend?”

Use a similar word or the opposite
If you can’t remember “handsome”, you can say “good-looking” instead. If you want to say “puppy”, you could say “a baby dog”.

You can say “It’s like…” or “It’s similar to …” For example, if you don’t know “blonde”, you can say “It’s like yellow but for hair”.

If you don’t know the word “shallow” you can say “not deep” or “the opposite of deep”.

More general or more specific
Sometimes you can use a more general word. For example, if you can’t remember “surgeon” and it’s not that important to be specific, just say “doctor”. 

If you need to be more precise, say “the kind of doctor that uses a knife”. “A/the kind of …” is very useful.

Another useful word is “for”. A pharmacy is “a shop for medicines.” A gynaecologist is “a doctor for women”. A hammer is “a tool for nails”.

Sometimes we do the opposite and use a specific word when we can’t remember the general term. Maybe you want to say “genre” but you don’t remember it, so instead you can say, “For example, action, romance, horror …”

Final tips
If you follow these tips, you will build your vocabulary and it will become easier for you to find the words you know when you want them.

1. Practise speaking every day. The more you practise, the easier it will be to find the right words.

2. Practise little and often rather than spending longer once a week. Ten minutes every day is better than one hour on a Saturday.

3. Keep English fresh in your mind. How? Read, listen to music or podcasts, watch films or videos, or use social media in English, whichever you enjoy most.

Practise using all the strategies in this post and in time, you’ll find it easier to speak without getting stuck on words!


Would you like to learn how you can improve your vocabulary and stop forgetting the new words you've learnt? My Vocabulary Challenge e-book is for you. Get your copy here.