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Native English speakers don't always agree about grammar! Does that surprise you? What about in your own language? Do people ever argue about what’s grammatically correct or acceptable? I’m guessing you probably answered “yes”. Well, the same is true for English. My dad and I often disagree! He thinks it’s only correct if it’s what he learnt at school! I have my own grammar likes and dislikes but I accept that the language is always changing. So why do people disagree about English so often? Why isn’t grammar black and white, right or wrong? (“Black and white” = it’s clearly right or wrong. “Grey areas” = when there isn’t a clear right or wrong answer.) I can think of two reasons: 1. Some people focus more on what the grammar books say (or even on what the grammar books said 60 years ago!) whereas other people focus more on what people say in real-life conversations. 2. The second reason is that languages change all the time. This means that older people are likely to disagree with younger people. Dad disagrees with me, and I sometimes disagree with people younger than me! By the way, some countries have an organisation which decides what’s acceptable or standard in their language. There’s no organisation like this for the English language. But there are many style guides for people to follow, especially in journalistic and academic writing. In the rest of this post, let’s look at a few grey areas. 1. “He’s taller than me” or “he’s taller than I”? My dad insists it should be “He’s taller than I.” I say “He’s taller than me” - and so do most people nowadays. It sounds more natural in modern English. Technically, “than I” might be more “correct” according to older grammar books, but language has moved on. Both are understood. One sounds formal and old-fashioned; the other sounds more natural in this century! 2. May vs might Dad learnt that there’s a difference between “may” and “might”. I say they’re basically the same - and in everyday modern English, most people use them interchangeably. For example: I may go to the party. I might go to the party. If there’s a difference, it’s very small - perhaps the probability is slightly higher in the first sentence - but honestly, it doesn’t matter in most situations. 3. Who vs whom This is a classic example of grammar changing over time. Many people, both native and non-native speakers, were taught to use “whom” when it’s the object of the verb (e.g. Whom did you call?) and “who” when it’s the subject (e.g. Who called you?). But nowadays, “whom” is rare in spoken English. Native speakers don’t say it or even know how to use it. “Who did you call?” sounds more natural to me than “Whom did you call?” However, we do occasionally use “whom” in phrases like “one of whom” or “to whom it may concern”. (I’ve written a couple of posts about this on social media and the comments were very interesting! People have strong feelings about this one and occasionally even get upset with me!) 4. “Less people” or “fewer people”? I always say “fewer people” because “people” is countable. But lots of people now say “less people” - and that’s becoming more and more common, even in professional English. Technically, “fewer” is still more “correct” for countable nouns. But you’ll hear “less” all the time. 5. “There’s lots of people” or “there are lots of people”? This one really bothers me! I was taught to say “there are lots of people” because “people” is plural. But “there’s lots of people” is very common now, even among native speakers. It might sound strange to some ears (including mine), but it’s definitely becoming more accepted in everyday English. 6. “Charles’ son” or “Charles’s son”? I was taught to write “Charles’ son” - just add an apostrophe if the name ends in -s. But now, most people write “Charles’s son” and pronounce the extra -s too. I prefer the modern way here! It’s a small change, but it’s another example of how language evolves over time. 7. To boldly go (split infinitives) At school, I was told not to split an infinitive - don’t put anything between “to” and the verb, but in fact, native speakers break this “rule” quite often. The most famous split infinitive in English is from Star Trek: “to boldly go where no one has gone before.” Would you really say “to go boldly”? Probably not. It sounds wrong! Split infinitives are completely natural in modern English. 8. “Me and my friend” or “my friend and I”? Traditional grammar says you should say “My friend and I went to the shop” and “She spoke to my friend and me”. But in real life, native speakers often say “Me and my friend …” - even at the beginning of a sentence. It’s technically incorrect in formal writing, but incredibly common in spoken English. Some people feel very strongly about it, including me! I still remember my mum correcting me when I was really young and now I hate it when I hear it! But of course, I don’t say anything and I have to accept that English is changing! 9. Ending a sentence with a preposition At school, many of us were told you mustn’t end a sentence with a preposition (words like at, in, on, with, to). But that rule was based on Latin grammar, not natural English. In real life, we often say things like: Who are you talking to? That’s the book I was looking for. What are you waiting for? Trying to “fix” these often sounds awkward and unnatural. "That’s the book for which I was looking” sounds ridiculous! Most modern style guides now accept preposition endings in informal and even semi-formal writing. 10. Singular “they” This is one of the biggest changes in English grammar in recent years. Traditionally, “they” was always plural, and we would say “he or she” when we didn’t know the gender. But now we often use it as a gender-neutral singular pronoun. For example: Someone left their phone. Ask your doctor if they would recommend it. Some people still feel unsure or uncomfortable using “they” for a single person, but it’s now widely accepted and used by major style guides (even in formal writing). Why does all this matter? As an English teacher, I find that learners often want to know exactly what’s right and wrong. They want everything to be black and white and they’re not comfortable with grey areas. Learners also feel frustrated or confused when a teacher says something different from what they learnt before. When I’m teaching, I tell my students what the grammar books say and also what most people actually say nowadays. Then I let them decide for themselves which they prefer. I also tell my learners sometimes that one thing is more common or more natural than the other, rather than this is right and that is wrong. Here are the main things to remember
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